Colors and music

Which one do you like best Sarah...........

to remember him

the place he liked to be on fridaynights...........

where the music was loud.................

and there where friends.......................
thank you so much guys, for sharing this evening with me and saying goodbye to him..........

Daheks

Between tears i have been stitching......

This is daheks............made by me, inspired by Yvette, with an indigo moon from Sandra.

an obesity of grief

Sunshine and stars in Amsterdam

The sun was shining...........

and i saw stars

I spent two days in Amsterdam at the new Rijksmuseum and there where lots of stars.........and sunshine.

Maybe............

Those strong, soft hands wil never again touch the flowers in my garden, prune my grapes, carress my cat Venus or my cheek, saying......hey live is ok, smile mum...........



I dont know how to go on and wont be here for a while..............

R.I.P. my beloved David

this is my son David as he sat in my garden..........so often. Eachtime he visited me we sat in the garden because he liked to smoke his rollies and i didn't like the smell.  Two weeks ago he asked me if i liked coffee in the garden. I said no, it was raining and 6 degrees. We talked about art for hours...painting, grafitti, textile art, drawing.........he knew about all and was not shy to tell me about it. He had a very confident taste. He played with Venus my little cat...he was the only male who Venus, the shy one,  liked.
Then after more rollies and lots of coffee he went upstairs in the atelier he had in my loft. The smell of the ironpaint went trough the whole neighborhood and i complaint about that also. I often complaint about lots of stupid things.
Now he's gone, i put him in the fire yesterday and learnt a new kind of  friendship.
David had a very large circle of friends and they where with me and Chris (my oldest son) all the hours we needed them. They worked for days on music, pictures and art and showed all of this on his funeral.

I would love you to listen to this song but dont know how to upload it.
.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzD12qo1knM
I dont know how to live on without my son..............time will show.
For time being i stay with the love of my son/daughter in law. The love of my friends......walks along the river and to much red wine..............

Mijn hart is gebroken

Ik ben terug uit het ziekenhuis en er is stilte in huis
hij heeft niet geleden: zei de dokter
daarvoor was het letsel te erg
ik kon je gezicht nog strelen
maar het was niet meer echt warm
de stoppels op je kin voelden vertrouwd
dezelfde stoppels die ik gisteren voelde
toen je afscheid van me nam en zei dat alles goed is
dat alles goed komt en beter wordt
bleek is je huid en je oogleden zijn paars
alsof je een theater optreden gepland had
ik hou je voeten vast onder de deken
ik kan ze nog bewegen
ik zoek je handen
die sterke, mooie handen
er is niet enkel bloed
er zitten ook nog verfresten op
die verf zat ook in je bloed maar
 niet genoeg om van te leven